Super Cute Protesters

Breaking the Chains that Bind

2010-02-12T16:22:00.004-05:00

I stand with your cause (and your python-like ability to disjoint your jaws), but next time leave the double-breasted coat and cashmere scarf at home. It looks really bougie.

Throughout history, most people who used "any means necessary" couldn't pay for the New School or use their father's Nordstrom card. Just sayin... but I'm still down if you want to escape for the weekend up to Connecticut and discuss gender theory. *wink wink*

Why Are All the GOOD Neo-Nazis Taken?

2010-02-12T15:57:00.005-05:00

You haven't changed my mind about race, immigration, affirmative action, or even this.

But you look like a prime candidate for my favorite bussing program. (link nsfw)

I Know the Perfect Place For Those to Steep...

2010-02-04T15:19:00.005-05:00

Let me be clear: we here at SuperCuteProtesters would never advocate the physical abuse of a minor.

*owl hoot*

That said, the shirt this pubescent teabagger is wearing has me feeling seven kinds of rage and a whisper of guilt, but mostly it's just making my shorts awfully tight. ::calls local chapter of NAMBLA::

NEM Edition: Gays Love Snowclones

2009-10-18T18:14:00.001-04:00

Snowclones are great for protest signs: "Gay is the new black." "Save a horse. Ride a cowboy." "Gays gone wild." Your clever shirt reminds me of Jews for Jesus.

Oh, and it's snowclone, not snowball. Get your mind out of the gutter.

NEM Edition: What Happens at Church Camp Stays at Church Camp

2009-10-15T18:50:00.001-04:00

I can't tell if this is a protest, a Miley Cyrus concert, or praise and worship hour at ex-gay camp.

NEM Edition: Me and My Faux Hawk Demand An End to DOMA

2009-10-14T18:50:00.005-04:00

I didn't really think you were my type until i noticed your underwear: Hanes boxer briefs. Not Diesel. Not Calvin Klein. Hanes.

Your down-to-earth, Super Wal-Mart sensibility is the kind of thing I can get behind. (Or the other way around. Whatever. It's up to you.)

NEM Edition: Erect for Equality

2009-10-13T18:47:00.003-04:00

Was it the cool October wind? Was it the prospect of inevitable equality? Or was it being chased down by a drunken blogger with an iPhone?

Either way, you could etch "NO H8" into glass with those delightful nips.

SCP introduces: National Equality Edition

2009-10-12T15:06:00.013-04:00

Super Cute Protesters has returned!

This weekend most SCP bloggers were in DC, marching for full LGBT equality. Hundreds of thousands of people from all over the country marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, demanding that Congress and President Obama take us seriously.

We promise to keep SCP posts witty, irreverent, and silly. That is what we do best. However, let me pause a moment to share a serious thought or two. (I apologize in advance.)

The march was amazing. I've always been suspicious of protests. What good can they really do? I refuse to chant silly slogans and "the herd" always makes me nervous. But yesterday, I felt differently.

If the only good thing to come from Sunday was that lump in my throat, the goosebumps on my arms, and that incredible feeling of solidarity that comes from being one person among thousands, joined together for a fleeting moment by the common cause of justice and equality, then it was worth it 100 times over.

It was energizing to be with friends whom I usually only see after sunset. We were there at noon, when we'd normally be sleeping off the decadence of the night before. It was encouraging to see straight friends, compelled to march not by self-interest, but by a commitment to stand up with their LGBT friends, whose lives they know to be the same as their own.

There was a breast cancer walk in DC this weekend. As we turned a corner on Pennsylvania Avenue, I was stunned to see a row of women (and a few men) dressed in pink, taking a break from their walk to cheer us on. These two causes--breast cancer awareness and LGBT civil rights--can't be more disparate. Yet there they were, lending their voices to our cause. Thank you.

It was also fun... perhaps too much fun. We began toward the front so we took a justified brunch break at a restaurant on the route. An hour later, after a few shots and some food, we rejoined the march. Everyone knows that Jameson is great for bravado. And bravado is just what I needed to be that guy, snapping pictures of super cute protesters with super cute signs. The pictures will follow in the coming days. As classless and profane as our captions will be, I should say for the record: Thank you to my brothers, sisters, and allies for coming to my city, and letting me march with you. As we continue to fight for equality and respect for all, let's have some fun on the side. In our case, the fun comes from this silly little blog and the adorable protesters who make it possible.

As always, you can send pics to us at submissions@supercuteprotesters.com

Solo Protesters Steal the Show

2009-07-02T15:04:00.002-04:00

Why so lonely? Looks like Mr. Grumpy needs some cuddle time.

Is Your Nickname "Scientology"?

2009-06-23T13:43:00.002-04:00

I hope it is. I really, really hope it is.

No... wire... hangers... EVER!

2009-05-26T16:49:00.003-04:00

Because in Planned Parenthood, no one can hear you scream...

Fugly Friday: Militant Sexual Deviant Edition

2009-05-01T00:01:00.003-04:00

With all that fat bearing down on his tiny feet, he looks like a scoop of shit in a moldy ice cream cone, dipped in sprinkles of fascism. A scoop of shit grabbing its balls.

I've Never Seen THAT Service Option Before...

2009-04-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

Hi. Uh, my name is Verizon, I'm here about the sign...

That looks like a fun toy...

2009-04-29T15:00:00.005-04:00

::Shuffles feet and eyes bottle of lube shyly::

Position Assumed

2009-04-29T11:09:00.000-04:00

Is that a tattoo on your back or just where I should be aiming?

I'll Give You Something To Cry About...

2009-04-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

Higher uni fees got ya down, mate? Your multiple facial piercings and green mohawk tell me what you get into, so the question is, would you rather start our evening with sounding or CBT?

Nobody appreciates the power of good penmanship like teh geighs.

2009-04-28T10:00:00.002-04:00

OMG you guys it's Juan, my bff from sixth grade! I recognized him from the artful lettering on his sign and the Hollister shorts he used to wear every day. I can't wait to introduce him to all my friends so that they can "love" that hat right off him.

Like How You Grab That Pole

2009-04-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

The only thing really worth protesting is that your camouflage might make it slightly more difficult for my cock to find your mouth.

Everyone Knows "No" Means "Yes"

2009-04-27T11:00:00.000-04:00

So, exactly what are you saying "no" to, the proper spelling of your dumb one-legged bike? I kind of hate you for this whole presentation, but I think we can get past it. I'll even forgive the fact that your seasonably inappropriate Santa hat also has reindeer antlers if you just come over, strip down and let me wail on your junk with that unicycle. ::sigh:: Fine, we can bring Sloth along...

Don't you furrow that capitalist brow at me.

2009-04-27T00:01:00.001-04:00

Between your shoddily-taped sign, its noun/verb number disagreement, and the wrinkled tie, your dimples are the only things that are going to make hatefucking you remotely enjoyable for me.

Fugly Friday: Get A First One

2009-04-24T15:00:00.002-04:00

There is nothing super cute about Second Life. PERIOD.

Come On Baby, Light My Fire

2009-04-24T11:00:00.001-04:00

Much like this post, having a Global Marijuana March mere days after 4/20 just seems... late. But, really, when your demonstration includes a dirty-dreadlocked French boy wearing a little bandana-scarf BREATHING FIRE you can do whatever the fuck you want. Psst! Garçon! Voulez-vous come over later and try to make this happen from both ends?

Save A Bull, Fuck A Matador

2009-04-23T15:00:00.000-04:00

In support of your noble cause I formally invite you to gore my anus.

Turn To Your Good Side (Look Behind You)

2009-04-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Federal law may prohibit me from saying what's going through my head right now, but here's an idea. Oh yeah, go ahead and start practicing this face.

I don't know what's hotter, a submissive protester or a baton-swinging riot cop.

2009-04-22T15:00:00.001-04:00

And don't worry, honey, we'll hop in the shower right quick to wash the wounds those pigs are going to inflict upon you. I might even lick them for you.

Beyond the Barricade: And It's Not Just the Red Sauce

2009-04-22T11:00:00.001-04:00

I had sloppy joes for dinner last night (true story!), yet for some reason I'm still really craving a manwich.

Smoke Out With Your Cock Out

2009-04-22T00:01:00.003-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy 4/20 back at ya. I see you've gathered 100 of your closest doper friends to smoke pot in public... Rebellious, indeed!

Don't you realize that marijuana is a gateway drug... a gateway to my dick in your mouths? And trust me, that's the hardest, most addictive drug of all. (Get it? Hardest? Let it sink in while I forward this picture to these people.)

Squinty-eyed Cowboys Make Me Grind My Dungarees

2009-04-21T15:00:00.001-04:00

The owners of the following email addresses have expressed a fervent desire to sodomize this boy:

marky.v.creepz@gmail.com

dcrider8099@yahoo.com

mamanuela04@gmail.com

d.horeman@gmail.com

Send your submissions to: submissions@supercuteprotesters.com

Nothing like an underage Southerner on a Tuesday morning.

2009-04-21T10:00:00.005-04:00

Since his sign's clumsy punctuation and fatuous censorship hurt my feelings, it's only fair that this adorable hillbilly protester lets me hurt his feelings. Come to think of it, I'd hurt ALL of him six ways from Sunday.

Good Taste Aborted

2009-04-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

Look, I get it, you think abortion is wrong. Perhaps though, somewhere deep inside, you're a little conflicted on the issue? Conflicted enough to consider the fact that you and me could fuck like rabbits and never have to worry about making that sort of anguished decision somewhere down the line? That the laws of nature prevent such a thing from ever happening? Really? You are??? Great! Let your cute friend in the t-shirt know he can come too.

Submitted by Jose, who also expressed deep concern that there wasn't enough dead baby fucking on this blog.

Why Do You Insist On Screaming?!

2009-04-20T15:00:00.000-04:00

Oh you can scowl all you want lil' Mr. Climate Activist, but you can never erase the gayface...Never! I'm onto (into?) you, boy.

All Spillage ≠ Environmental Disaster

2009-04-20T11:00:00.001-04:00

Personally, "drill & spill" sounds like a much more entertaining way to spend an afternoon...

You could cut a bitch with that clavicle.

2009-04-20T00:01:00.002-04:00

There's something about the combination of a floral shirt, chest tattoo, and and a pocket-sized Asian gripping a stick with purpose that makes me want to to explore interracial dating. And other interracial...stuff.

But What Will Il Papa Think?!!

2009-04-17T15:00:00.001-04:00

Squinting my eyes and ignoring pretty much everything I learned during my 4+ years of Italian, I'm quite positive you're extending an invite to get dirty in the bathroom. Si, signore, molto molto si!

While You're Down There...

2009-04-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

So it's May Day and you're praying to the invisible hand of capitalism. Triple yawns, adorable Dutchman. I'll forgive your vaudevillian waste of time if you hold that position for just. a. few. more. seconds.... Therrrrre we go. Now stop bitching, get back to the cheesemill, and appreciate your annual four weeks of state-mandated vacation time.

Fugly Friday: Holy Shit! A Saboteur!

2009-04-17T00:02:00.001-04:00

Take off the mask before you hurt the cause, you fat fuck.

Deport Your Ass Onto My Face

2009-04-16T15:00:00.005-04:00

Note: The image to the right was removed by request. You may see the image by clicking on the photo which will take you to the website of Mark Vallee, the copyright holder. Besides this photo, his website contains several other young protesters, many with their shirts off. If you have an appreciation for the pubescent male form, then you will be interested in his website. Also, you may want to see if you can find his pictures on xy.com [NSFW], if you're into that sort of thing.

Now here's a guy who's committed to his cause – and the color blue, apparently. Did you do that with Kool-Aid? No matter, you remind me of my middle school anime crush and your insistence that love exist without borders tells me you're ready to jump the pond and let me show you that us Yanks can throw down in the dungeon, too.

PUH-LEEZ, you don't have to tell me twice.

2009-04-16T10:00:00.007-04:00

I plead with my uterus not to breed every month, I don't need some super cute boy to tell me, too.

Shout out to Joe for his submission; I would offer to let him try and "accidentally" impregnate me as compensation, but something tells me that if he's sending us photos of boys, he's not in my way inclined.

Package Stimulus

2009-04-16T00:01:00.001-04:00

Fuck, all this "Tea Party" nonsense makes me want to dress up like an Indian and tickle your balls with my feather.

What's With the Old Timey Haircuts?

2009-04-15T15:00:00.001-04:00

Ohhhhhhh. It's the 1950's and you guys are in a pro-segregation mob. Boooooo. Sheesh fellas. Thank God George Wallace lacked your subtle, slack-jawed charm, or John McCain might be president today.

"Kiss-In" For Equality

2009-04-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

I get it, I get it... Your P.D.A. is an attempt to normalize gayness, but I'm afraid your methods are too tame to crack the dominant heteronormative paradigm. May I suggest the much more in-your-face circle jerk for justice?

I Am Against This With You

2009-04-15T11:00:00.000-04:00

Duct tape over your mouths? Holding up signs that say "LOVE"? A picture of Jesus?! I know an invitation when I see one, guys. ::grabs poppers:: ...hide the child.

Dude in the background is totally unbuckling his belt in anticipation of what's about to go down.

2009-04-15T00:01:00.006-04:00

"Well, sí, you most certainly can ravage me upon this very tarp while my padre watches, Señor Tight-Ass-(In)-Purple-Leggings. ¡Ole!"

Ethically Questionable Treatment

2009-04-14T15:00:00.001-04:00

I'm sure you mean well, Mr. Cute Protestor, but when you dress like that the only animal I can think of is the silent duck.

Myth Debunked! Global Warming Actually Caused by Smokin' Hot Environmentalists!

2009-04-14T00:01:00.007-04:00

Note: The image above was removed by request. You may see the image by clicking on the photo which will take you to the website of Mark Vallee, the copyright holder. Besides this photo, his website contains several other young protesters, many with their shirts off. If you have an appreciation for the pubescent male form, then you will be interested in his website. Also, you may want to see if you can find his pictures on xy.com [NSFW]....if you're into that sort of thing.

You're sort of a marketing genius, Adorable English Climate Change Activist. You don't even need a picket sign or poster because you aaaare the sign. And you've all but ensured that everyone will run off and Google whatever the hell EON FOFF is supposed to mean because you've scrawled it on your smooth, toned, naked a b s a n d c h e s t a n d n i p p l

...sorry, what? Hey, would you grab me a tissue? Thanks.

Moldova: The hot, angry face of nationalism.

2009-04-13T15:00:00.002-04:00

Nothing turns me on like a nubile young miscreant poised to hurl a ten-pound piece of concrete into a crowd while wearing an outfit more suited to a neo-fascist clown en route to brunch and a circle jerk.

Many thanks to Marghet for the tip on the image: we're always on the lookout for super cute boys and girls to feature, so send photos to submissions@supercuteprotesters.com.

Pro-Boys

2009-04-13T11:00:00.002-04:00

It's no biggie -- the only choice I really care about is "top" or "bottom."

Labor of Lust

2009-04-13T00:01:00.001-04:00

Thanks to four semesters of college-level French, I can translate your shirt and capture the nuances you intended: [Dear Keith,] This work stoppage will continue until I can inspect and service your insides. Consider your demands met, mon communiste tres adorable.

Drill (me), Baby, Drill

2009-04-10T15:00:00.003-04:00

Between this guy's flagrant douchiness, mild rosacea and suggestively-placed sign depicting an erupting oil derrick, this picture has got me worked up so bad all I wanna do now is shove a gas pump up his ass and teabag him while his friend in the seersucker blazer watches.

Fugly Friday: Super Crude Protesters

2009-04-10T11:00:00.000-04:00

I do not know what these leathery columns of melting flesh are protesting, but I do know this: there is nothing super cute about them. That poor, unfortunate bald man strapped to their loins is wailing, "NOT IN MY NAME! LEAVE ME IN GUANTANAMO, THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED THIS."

Boy Mace In Your Boy Face

2009-04-10T00:01:00.002-04:00

Awww, pepper spray got ya down big guy? Tell you what, come over to my place and I'll show you that getting sprayed in the face doesn't always have to hurt.

Is This a Protest or a God Damned Sing-a-Long?

2009-04-09T15:00:00.000-04:00

I have no fucking clue what you're protesting, but I want in... inside... deep, deep, inside. Oh, and tell your creepy cardigan-clad friend on the right to keep his fucking paws to himself. You're all mine.

Good-Natured Activist Twinks Will Break Your Heart

2009-04-09T10:00:00.003-04:00

Oh god oh god oh god, he is holding his picket sign with pink stripey gloves and has a matching... waitaminute. "Action for children?" This is a rally against child poverty?! Are you using that pink Pied Piper whistle to try to PUSH UP ON SOME BALD?!?! No, twink, no. ::alerts authorities::

Beyond the Barricade: Is That A Baton In Your Pocket Or Are You Just—WHAT THE FUCK, DID YOU JUST HIT ME IN THE FACE???!!!!

2009-04-09T00:01:00.001-04:00

Please note that the riot policemen of my dear homeland of Greece are all a) stone cold foxes, b) looking aimlessly in totally different directions, probably at ladies, and c) seemingly unperturbed that a peaceful protester is framing them in a lavender balloon heart. I thought we could ride the wave of democracy and Western philosophy for at least another millennium, but it appears our grace period is coming to an end.

A Call to (Get Some) Action!

2009-04-08T23:00:00.002-04:00

Protest the IMF & World Bank, Washington DC
April 24-26, 2009
http://www.globaljusticeaction.org/

Be sure to check out Global Justice Action’s protests of the IMF & World Bank meetings during the last weekend in April. Activists will be there to “resist the dominant global order, and show that a better world is possible, free from neoliberalism, capitalism, and imperialism.” Sounds like a hotbed of cuteness to me!

Whether you are into the bad boy or a more toned-down, crunchy look, these protests will have something for you. There will be coordinated blockades and unpermitted marches in front of the World Bank on Saturday. I’d expect these boys to be a little more rough around the edges than those attending the organized march from Dupont Circle to the World Bank on Sunday.

Recommended If You Like:

Slightly damaged, tattooed, angry, rebellious types looking to pick a fight
That obnoxious libertarian you love to stare at but hate to talk to

Are you planning to attend the protest? Super Cute Protesters wants YOU to send us pictures of the boys who set your hormones ablaze. Email your photo with a caption to submissions@supercuteprotesters.com. Interviews are a plus!

Dear Hot G20something

2009-04-08T15:00:00.004-04:00

Your gaping maw, taut with self-righteous anger, makes me want to facefuck you so bad I have little concern about your bottom row of chompers leaving my head bloodier than your mate's.

2 Boys, 1 Bucket

2009-04-08T10:30:00.000-04:00

What is it about a dimwitted gay protester that makes the hair on my balls stand up? Look here, sir. You are a distraction. If I saw you at an AIDS rally I would have to stop chanting, run to the nearest port-a-potty, and furiously masturbate. Fill your bucket with that, sir.

It's. A-bout. To Go. DOWN.

2009-04-07T23:00:00.001-04:00

Ok I'm not really sure what's going on here. First, we have the group on the left which I'm pretty sure is an anti-WBC contingent and then we have the Maryland Teenage Republicans on the right who I think got their dates mixed up. But none of that matters cuz check the look on that cowboy's face. He's looking at hoodie boy like some Brokeback Mountain vs. KIDS shit is about to pop off and WHO HAS THE VIDEO RECORDER?!

Model Protester

2009-04-07T15:00:00.000-04:00

On one hand, he's making it so easy for me with his tan, sweaty, gape-mouthed hotness. On the other hand, he's at a Prop 8 rally, which, as a straight girl, makes it really hard for me. (That's what he said.)

No Cum For Oil

2009-04-06T16:06:00.003-04:00

Don't worry baby, I always make sure it's water-based.

Way To Take One for the Team, Peacenik

2009-04-06T15:38:00.004-04:00

Something about the phrase "arrested for protesting the uprooting of Palestinian olive trees" really makes my misters swell. Why do you look so confused and scared? Are Israeli jails as hot as they say they are?

Wake Up, America

2009-04-06T15:34:00.004-04:00

Seeing this boy standing there, with his checkered Vans, skinny jeans and postpubescent acne, educating the masses about the Zionist conspiracy, I could punchfuck him right on that street corner...

We are the world.

2009-04-06T15:23:00.002-04:00

This photograph proves that super cute protesters come in all forms: hot girls, less hot girls, curly-haired boys, even gingers! Plus 2 for an Asian cut off on the side, minus 2 for the "HIPPIES SMELL" poster in the background.

Dreamers Make All the Difference

2009-04-06T15:14:00.004-04:00

Watching this boy "be the change he wants to see in the world" is about to make my heart burst. Ugh. Now hold your mouth just like that...

Westboro Baptist Church: You're Kinda Cute For a Bigot

2009-04-06T15:06:00.003-04:00

Thank god for hate rape.

On amused protesters and riot policemen who look like Tom Selleck

2009-04-06T14:58:00.004-04:00

This alabaster-skinned pretty young thing seems so pleased with himself: you can tell that he's praying for a full cavity search, which will end with him cutting the officer with his razor-sharp cheekbones.

Greenpeace Protester: You Can Shower. Or Not, Whatever.

2009-04-06T14:38:00.001-04:00

Seeing Greenpeace protesters scowling, legs spread, dressed as extras in a circa-1998 Daft Punk music video is like seeing a kitten in a diaper swat at the nose of a rhinoceros.

G20 in London: I Find Your Ideas Intriguing and Would Like To Subscribe To Your Cock In My Mouth

2009-04-06T14:37:00.007-04:00

If the fall of capitalism is anything like the fall of your pants, I'm totally down.

G20 in London: Your Idealism Makes Me Want To Put Things Places

2009-04-06T14:17:00.006-04:00

Ahhhhh. Look at that. Are you trying to reason with riot police‽ Uh-dorable. You should come sit in my lap and tell me alllllll about your new favorite book, Empire by Italian Marxist Antonio Negri.

About the Author: Ollie

2009-04-01T15:16:00.008-04:00

About Ollie: Open-minded Mainiac (LOL!) with a flair for boating (and motorboating). His perfect date? You bring The Bullet, he'll bring the Eagles CD!

Pet Causes: Greenpeace: Lobster Poacher Unit (unless poaching somehow involves having sex with them); NAACP; Unionizing super-hot sex workers.

Likes: Fleeces; Tricks in fleeces; Fleecing tricks; Koko Goldstein.

Dislikes: Barnacles; Being taken advantage of when sloppy.

Love Letters/Hate Mail: ollie@supercuteprotesters.com

About the Author: The Grapist

2009-04-01T15:10:00.004-04:00

About The Grapist: Southern gentleman with an encyclopedic knowledge of art history, Radiohead's discography, and Fascist torture porn loves to wear Bedazzled short shorts that leave little to the imagination.

Pet Causes: Less stringently regulated immigration laws for Arab cab drivers; The lowering of the age of consent to 13 nationwide

Likes: Public semi-nudity; Zombies; Dancing on speakers; Sodomizing thirsty children; Chain smoking in the dark while playing Objectivist-influenced video games

Dislikes: Objectivists; Bad manners; Vegetarians; Vagitarians.

Website: The Grapist

Love Letters/Hate Mail: TheGrapist@supercuteprotesters.com

About the Author: Penis di Milo

2009-04-01T15:05:00.006-04:00

About Penis di Milo: She is a Greek goddess with a penchant for aggressive come-ons and two-handed masturbation. With hair to die for, she can really appreciate men as sexually experienced and uninhibited as she.

Pet Causes: Heavy petting; Saving the Mediterranean Monk Seal; Eradicating improper punctuation and incorrect usage of the word irony.

Likes: Culturally coasting for the last 2000 years; Culturally sanctified man/boy love (even though she doesn't necessarily like to watch).

Dislikes: Gypsies; Non-feral dogs; Mutha fuckas eatin' off her plate.

Love Letters/Hate Mail: PenisDiMilo@supercuteprotesters.com

About the Author: Controlphreaq

2009-04-01T15:00:00.006-04:00

About Controlphreaq: Blogger, graphic designer, and composer of DC comics slashfic by day, chickenhawk by night, Controlphreaq frequently lurks in alleyways at the mall with a net gun and bag full of twink bait. Though he sincerely believes he has superpowers, the closest he comes is the ability to shape-shift from ravenous lush to sweater gay in a matter of seconds.

Pet Causes: The Dark Side; Bird eradication; Socially equitable distribution of rail bourbon (equitable = he gets more and doesn't pay).

Likes: Actions enclosed in double colons; Delusions of grandeur; Nifty stories; Announcing that he will destroy things and/or people and then only mildly denting them; That one time when Captain Marvel Jr. and Aqualad were like totally imprisoned by some crazy dude and like all shirtless and sweaty and stuff and the only way to escape was for them to totally go down on each... oh wait, nevermind; His hand in other people's faces; His truck.

Dislikes: Self-aggrandizing twinks; Self-aggrandizing animals; Birds of prey; Scabies.

Love Letters/Hate Mail: controlphreaq@supercuteprotesters.com

About the Author: Keith

2009-04-01T14:46:00.004-04:00

About Keith: Earth-toned Texan hipster with an affinity for licking and sniffing the various mystery substances he regularly finds himself covered in. A fifth of Buffalo Trace bourbon can be used to get him to do anything.

Pet Causes: GLBT outreach programs to the Special Olympics; Lowering the tariff on pork products; Getting gay bars to play Johnny Cash records.

Likes: Deep-fried anything; Masturbating in inappropriate places; Slightly-retarded boys; Turning anywhere into a cruising ground; Grief and bereavement literature.

Dislikes: Being challenged re: things he learned in Texas; Pigeons; Being mistaken for a lesbian; Grief and bereavement literature.

Blogger Profile: Keith

Love Letters/Hate Mail: keith@supercuteprotesters.com