Thursday, April 30, 2009

I've Never Seen THAT Service Option Before...

Hi. Uh, my name is Verizon, I'm here about the sign...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

That looks like a fun toy...

::Shuffles feet and eyes bottle of lube shyly::

Position Assumed

Is that a tattoo on your back or just where I should be aiming?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'll Give You Something To Cry About...

Higher uni fees got ya down, mate? Your multiple facial piercings and green mohawk tell me what you get into, so the question is, would you rather start our evening with sounding or CBT?

Nobody appreciates the power of good penmanship like teh geighs.

OMG you guys it's Juan, my bff from sixth grade! I recognized him from the artful lettering on his sign and the Hollister shorts he used to wear every day. I can't wait to introduce him to all my friends so that they can "love" that hat right off him.

Like How You Grab That Pole

The only thing really worth protesting is that your camouflage might make it slightly more difficult for my cock to find your mouth.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Everyone Knows "No" Means "Yes"

So, exactly what are you saying "no" to, the proper spelling of your dumb one-legged bike? I kind of hate you for this whole presentation, but I think we can get past it. I'll even forgive the fact that your seasonably inappropriate Santa hat also has reindeer antlers if you just come over, strip down and let me wail on your junk with that unicycle. ::sigh:: Fine, we can bring Sloth along...

Don't you furrow that capitalist brow at me.

Between your shoddily-taped sign, its noun/verb number disagreement, and the wrinkled tie, your dimples are the only things that are going to make hatefucking you remotely enjoyable for me.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Fugly Friday: Get A First One

There is nothing super cute about Second Life. PERIOD.

Come On Baby, Light My Fire

Much like this post, having a Global Marijuana March mere days after 4/20 just seems... late. But, really, when your demonstration includes a dirty-dreadlocked French boy wearing a little bandana-scarf BREATHING FIRE you can do whatever the fuck you want. Psst! Garçon! Voulez-vous come over later and try to make this happen from both ends?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Save A Bull, Fuck A Matador

In support of your noble cause I formally invite you to gore my anus.

Turn To Your Good Side (Look Behind You)

Federal law may prohibit me from saying what's going through my head right now, but here's an idea. Oh yeah, go ahead and start practicing this face.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I don't know what's hotter, a submissive protester or a baton-swinging riot cop.

And don't worry, honey, we'll hop in the shower right quick to wash the wounds those pigs are going to inflict upon you. I might even lick them for you.

Beyond the Barricade: And It's Not Just the Red Sauce

I had sloppy joes for dinner last night (true story!), yet for some reason I'm still really craving a manwich.

Smoke Out With Your Cock Out

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy 4/20 back at ya. I see you've gathered 100 of your closest doper friends to smoke pot in public... Rebellious, indeed!

Don't you realize that marijuana is a gateway drug... a gateway to my dick in your mouths? And trust me, that's the hardest, most addictive drug of all. (Get it? Hardest? Let it sink in while I forward this picture to these people.)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Squinty-eyed Cowboys Make Me Grind My Dungarees

The owners of the following email addresses have expressed a fervent desire to sodomize this boy:
Send your submissions to:

Nothing like an underage Southerner on a Tuesday morning.

Since his sign's clumsy punctuation and fatuous censorship hurt my feelings, it's only fair that this adorable hillbilly protester lets me hurt his feelings. Come to think of it, I'd hurt ALL of him six ways from Sunday.

Good Taste Aborted

Look, I get it, you think abortion is wrong. Perhaps though, somewhere deep inside, you're a little conflicted on the issue? Conflicted enough to consider the fact that you and me could fuck like rabbits and never have to worry about making that sort of anguished decision somewhere down the line? That the laws of nature prevent such a thing from ever happening? Really? You are??? Great! Let your cute friend in the t-shirt know he can come too.

Submitted by Jose, who also expressed deep concern that there wasn't enough dead baby fucking on this blog.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Why Do You Insist On Screaming?!

Oh you can scowl all you want lil' Mr. Climate Activist, but you can never erase the gayface...Never! I'm onto (into?) you, boy.

All Spillage ≠ Environmental Disaster

Personally, "drill & spill" sounds like a much more entertaining way to spend an afternoon...

You could cut a bitch with that clavicle.

There's something about the combination of a floral shirt, chest tattoo, and and a pocket-sized Asian gripping a stick with purpose that makes me want to to explore interracial dating. And other interracial...stuff.

Friday, April 17, 2009

But What Will Il Papa Think?!!

Squinting my eyes and ignoring pretty much everything I learned during my 4+ years of Italian, I'm quite positive you're extending an invite to get dirty in the bathroom. Si, signore, molto molto si!

While You're Down There...

So it's May Day and you're praying to the invisible hand of capitalism. Triple yawns, adorable Dutchman. I'll forgive your vaudevillian waste of time if you hold that position for just. a. few. more. seconds.... Therrrrre we go. Now stop bitching, get back to the cheesemill, and appreciate your annual four weeks of state-mandated vacation time.

Fugly Friday: Holy Shit! A Saboteur!

Take off the mask before you hurt the cause, you fat fuck.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Deport Your Ass Onto My Face

Note: The image to the right was removed by request. You may see the image by clicking on the photo which will take you to the website of Mark Vallee, the copyright holder. Besides this photo, his website contains several other young protesters, many with their shirts off. If you have an appreciation for the pubescent male form, then you will be interested in his website. Also, you may want to see if you can find his pictures on [NSFW], if you're into that sort of thing.

Now here's a guy who's committed to his cause – and the color blue, apparently. Did you do that with Kool-Aid? No matter, you remind me of my middle school anime crush and your insistence that love exist without borders tells me you're ready to jump the pond and let me show you that us Yanks can throw down in the dungeon, too.

PUH-LEEZ, you don't have to tell me twice.

I plead with my uterus not to breed every month, I don't need some super cute boy to tell me, too.

Shout out to Joe for his submission; I would offer to let him try and "accidentally" impregnate me as compensation, but something tells me that if he's sending us photos of boys, he's not in my way inclined.

Package Stimulus

Fuck, all this "Tea Party" nonsense makes me want to dress up like an Indian and tickle your balls with my feather.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What's With the Old Timey Haircuts?

Ohhhhhhh. It's the 1950's and you guys are in a pro-segregation mob. Boooooo. Sheesh fellas. Thank God George Wallace lacked your subtle, slack-jawed charm, or John McCain might be president today.

"Kiss-In" For Equality

I get it, I get it... Your P.D.A. is an attempt to normalize gayness, but I'm afraid your methods are too tame to crack the dominant heteronormative paradigm. May I suggest the much more in-your-face circle jerk for justice?

I Am Against This With You

Duct tape over your mouths? Holding up signs that say "LOVE"? A picture of Jesus?! I know an invitation when I see one, guys. ::grabs poppers:: ...hide the child.

Dude in the background is totally unbuckling his belt in anticipation of what's about to go down.

"Well, sí, you most certainly can ravage me upon this very tarp while my padre watches, Señor Tight-Ass-(In)-Purple-Leggings. ¡Ole!"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Ethically Questionable Treatment

I'm sure you mean well, Mr. Cute Protestor, but when you dress like that the only animal I can think of is the silent duck.

Myth Debunked! Global Warming Actually Caused by Smokin' Hot Environmentalists!

Note: The image above was removed by request. You may see the image by clicking on the photo which will take you to the website of Mark Vallee, the copyright holder. Besides this photo, his website contains several other young protesters, many with their shirts off. If you have an appreciation for the pubescent male form, then you will be interested in his website. Also, you may want to see if you can find his pictures on [NSFW]....if you're into that sort of thing.

You're sort of a marketing genius, Adorable English Climate Change Activist. You don't even need a picket sign or poster because you aaaare the sign. And you've all but ensured that everyone will run off and Google whatever the hell EON FOFF is supposed to mean because you've scrawled it on your smooth, toned, naked a b s a n d c h e s t a n d n i p p l

...sorry, what? Hey, would you grab me a tissue? Thanks.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Moldova: The hot, angry face of nationalism.

Nothing turns me on like a nubile young miscreant poised to hurl a ten-pound piece of concrete into a crowd while wearing an outfit more suited to a neo-fascist clown en route to brunch and a circle jerk.

Many thanks to Marghet for the tip on the image: we're always on the lookout for super cute boys and girls to feature, so send photos to


It's no biggie -- the only choice I really care about is "top" or "bottom."

Labor of Lust

Thanks to four semesters of college-level French, I can translate your shirt and capture the nuances you intended: [Dear Keith,] This work stoppage will continue until I can inspect and service your insides. Consider your demands met, mon communiste tres adorable.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Drill (me), Baby, Drill

Between this guy's flagrant douchiness, mild rosacea and suggestively-placed sign depicting an erupting oil derrick, this picture has got me worked up so bad all I wanna do now is shove a gas pump up his ass and teabag him while his friend in the seersucker blazer watches.

Fugly Friday: Super Crude Protesters

I do not know what these leathery columns of melting flesh are protesting, but I do know this: there is nothing super cute about them. That poor, unfortunate bald man strapped to their loins is wailing, "NOT IN MY NAME! LEAVE ME IN GUANTANAMO, THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED THIS."

Boy Mace In Your Boy Face

Awww, pepper spray got ya down big guy? Tell you what, come over to my place and I'll show you that getting sprayed in the face doesn't always have to hurt.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Is This a Protest or a God Damned Sing-a-Long?

I have no fucking clue what you're protesting, but I want in... inside... deep, deep, inside. Oh, and tell your creepy cardigan-clad friend on the right to keep his fucking paws to himself. You're all mine.

Good-Natured Activist Twinks Will Break Your Heart

Note: The image above was removed by request. You may see the image by clicking on the photo which will take you to the website of Mark Vallee, the copyright holder. Besides this photo, his website contains several other young protesters, many with their shirts off. If you have an appreciation for the pubescent male form, then you will be interested in his website. Also, you may want to see if you can find his pictures on [NSFW]....if you're into that sort of thing.

Oh god oh god oh god, he is holding his picket sign with pink stripey gloves and has a matching... waitaminute. "Action for children?" This is a rally against child poverty?! Are you using that pink Pied Piper whistle to try to PUSH UP ON SOME BALD?!?! No, twink, no. ::alerts authorities::

Beyond the Barricade: Is That A Baton In Your Pocket Or Are You Just—WHAT THE FUCK, DID YOU JUST HIT ME IN THE FACE???!!!!

Please note that the riot policemen of my dear homeland of Greece are all a) stone cold foxes, b) looking aimlessly in totally different directions, probably at ladies, and c) seemingly unperturbed that a peaceful protester is framing them in a lavender balloon heart. I thought we could ride the wave of democracy and Western philosophy for at least another millennium, but it appears our grace period is coming to an end.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Call to (Get Some) Action!

Protest the IMF & World Bank, Washington DC
April 24-26, 2009

Be sure to check out Global Justice Action’s protests of the IMF & World Bank meetings during the last weekend in April. Activists will be there to “resist the dominant global order, and show that a better world is possible, free from neoliberalism, capitalism, and imperialism.” Sounds like a hotbed of cuteness to me!

Whether you are into the bad boy or a more toned-down, crunchy look, these protests will have something for you. There will be coordinated blockades and unpermitted marches in front of the World Bank on Saturday. I’d expect these boys to be a little more rough around the edges than those attending the organized march from Dupont Circle to the World Bank on Sunday.

Recommended If You Like:
  • Slightly damaged, tattooed, angry, rebellious types looking to pick a fight
  • That obnoxious libertarian you love to stare at but hate to talk to
Are you planning to attend the protest? Super Cute Protesters wants YOU to send us pictures of the boys who set your hormones ablaze. Email your photo with a caption to Interviews are a plus!

Dear Hot G20something

Your gaping maw, taut with self-righteous anger, makes me want to facefuck you so bad I have little concern about your bottom row of chompers leaving my head bloodier than your mate's.

2 Boys, 1 Bucket

What is it about a dimwitted gay protester that makes the hair on my balls stand up? Look here, sir. You are a distraction. If I saw you at an AIDS rally I would have to stop chanting, run to the nearest port-a-potty, and furiously masturbate. Fill your bucket with that, sir.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's. A-bout. To Go. DOWN.

Ok I'm not really sure what's going on here. First, we have the group on the left which I'm pretty sure is an anti-WBC contingent and then we have the Maryland Teenage Republicans on the right who I think got their dates mixed up. But none of that matters cuz check the look on that cowboy's face. He's looking at hoodie boy like some Brokeback Mountain vs. KIDS shit is about to pop off and WHO HAS THE VIDEO RECORDER?!

Model Protester

On one hand, he's making it so easy for me with his tan, sweaty, gape-mouthed hotness. On the other hand, he's at a Prop 8 rally, which, as a straight girl, makes it really hard for me. (That's what he said.)

Monday, April 6, 2009

No Cum For Oil

Don't worry baby, I always make sure it's water-based.

Way To Take One for the Team, Peacenik

Something about the phrase "arrested for protesting the uprooting of Palestinian olive trees" really makes my misters swell. Why do you look so confused and scared? Are Israeli jails as hot as they say they are?

Wake Up, America

Seeing this boy standing there, with his checkered Vans, skinny jeans and postpubescent acne, educating the masses about the Zionist conspiracy, I could punchfuck him right on that street corner...